The "Almost Perfect" Husband
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his companies Halloween Party. Not being a heavy drinker, Jack didn't even remember how he got home and as bad as he was feeling, he was really worried that he might have done something wrong.
Opening his eyes, the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on a side table and right beside them a single red rose. Jack looks up and see his clothes all neatly cleaned and pressed and his bedroom in perfect order. Taking the aspirin he cringes when he sees the huge shiner on his eye in the bathroom mirror - but notices a postit from his wife on the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick.
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner. I love you!!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough - there is his breakfast, a steaming pot of hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table. Jack asks - "what happened last night?"
His son replied, "Well you came home after 3am, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and smashed it to bits. You puked in the hallway and all over your clothes and then you got that black eye when you ran into the door!"
Confused, Jack asked, "why is everything in such perfect order and why isn't your mother mad at me?"
His son replied, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!" "
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Broken coffee table: $250, Hot Breakfast: $5, Aspirins: $.50
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Opening his eyes, the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on a side table and right beside them a single red rose. Jack looks up and see his clothes all neatly cleaned and pressed and his bedroom in perfect order. Taking the aspirin he cringes when he sees the huge shiner on his eye in the bathroom mirror - but notices a postit from his wife on the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick."Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner. I love you!!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough - there is his breakfast, a steaming pot of hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table. Jack asks - "what happened last night?"
His son replied, "Well you came home after 3am, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and smashed it to bits. You puked in the hallway and all over your clothes and then you got that black eye when you ran into the door!"
Confused, Jack asked, "why is everything in such perfect order and why isn't your mother mad at me?"
His son replied, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!" "
.
.
.
.
.
Broken coffee table: $250, Hot Breakfast: $5, Aspirins: $.50
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Saying the right thing at the right time ... PRICELESS!!!
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